Play the love game
by chocolateCherries45
Summary: This was the dumbest idea Sollux captor ever had. There were other ways to confess to your best friend that you wanted to make grubs with him later but this was not it. Why did Nepeta give him the idea? A fucking dating sim really? Well any other way would've been better but at least he wouldn't face utter rejection from Karkat. Who knows?


**Be the hacker boy**

**Well who is the hacker boy? Is he even a human boy?**

**No, he's a troll boy from Alternia and his name is Sollux Captor. Now stop interrupting and let me get on with the narration part.**

**Okay, geeze, I was just asking you know for clarification. It is kind of your job as the omminscent narrator person to clear things that might be potentially be confusing like what you first said..**

**Ughh I'm just gonna stand by for a minute.**

Well, with that "narration" in mind, yes, the boy's name was Sollux. As you might know, he likes to hack and program computers in his spare time. Sollux is quite proud of this fact; so much that he often bragged about his prowess in computers unlike his best friend, Karkat Vantas. Man, he needed to kick his programming skills up; he still has problems with his fucking fetch modus. Despite how much Karkat sucked at this kind of stuff, he was his best friend. They argued a whole lot over everything and Karkat, oh my god why did he have to get mad and throw a hissy fit every five minutes? Despite all that…Karkat was pretty fucking important to the boy with blue and red shades. Yep, you could say that Sollux had….some flushed feelings for the angry troll boy.

Well..on good days, Karkat is fun to be around (and especially to tease). When Karkat gets mad though, Sollux can see the tiny blush Karkat tried to suppress, his nose scrunching, his cheeks puffing up and his hair rising in anger. Most adorable thing he's ever seen. So what's the problem then?

Well….here's the thing: He didn't know whether Karkat even had flushed feelings for him or even if he had quadrant feelings at all towards anyone. (They flipped like crazy sometimes. He was in constant confusion over his feelings for Terezi. Were they flushed? Pale? Calignous? Just no idea at all). Even if Sollux entertained the stupid notion that Karkat had any semblance of flushed feelings towards him, he, himself wasn't the best person to be in a relationship with. Sollux was a bi-polar asshole most of the time with a slight persecution complex. Why would anyone be into him? But, he had to try and see and hopefully not completely fuck up their friendship. As annoying as Karkat is at times, he's Sollux's very best friend and he didn't want to lose their relationship over something stupid like these flushed feelings. Ughh, when did he even develop them? Oh right.

Karkat's stupid face, stupid almost smile he gave sometimes when he actually wasn't shouting at him, his stupid hair, his stupid sweaters, his stupid reactions to watching his stupid movies, his stupid way of making Sollux blush at the most inappropriate times, his stupid personality, his stupid way of showing that he cared but wouldn't outright say it, his stupid way of giving advice to everyone-especially in quadrant matters. The guy couldn't even solve his own. Basically, his stupid everything is what made Sollux fall for this troll. Hard. So hard that he even took the time to prepare a very special confession.

It was so special that it would make Nepeta squeal from all the cuteness of it. Yep, he did the most cheesiest, sappiest, bullshit way of confessing feelings to someone. If you were thinking about something else ..well you were wrong because..Sollux made some kind of dating sim!

That's right. A motherfucking dating sim. Of course, they were called something different on Alternia, something like "The player controlled character chooses a many range of options designed to inspire either flushed, pale or calignous relationships with the conventionally attractive fictional, digital trolls where the end goal is to get the best possible ending depending on the player's choices and whether they got enough attractiveness points to get the best ending game" Wow, Alternian game titles needed to be way shorter but don't us started on Alternian movie titles.

Anyway..what Sollux made was more or less a virus designed to emulate those types of games by seamlessly weaving in hints of his flushed feelings for Karkat in a one player, one character goal to get the best possible ending with. It was more of an overly complicated love puzzle that didn't even need to me made if Sollux just grew a bone bulge and just told him but nahh, this was way more fun. It did require tons of extensive research into the romantic tropes of Karkat's favorite movies and some coaching from Nepeta. (He was even starting to like some of them which is…NOT WHAT HE WANTED AT ALL AS THEY WERE SHIT).

Speaking of which, it was almost done programming and now it's rendering itself to be sent over as a hidden virus. Sollux also made sure that Karkat would be forced to sit there and play it, by making his PC virtually indestructible from being punched through by Karkat out of rage and made it so it was the only thing that opened when he turned on his computer.

Andd, it was 100% done programming and rendering and now, it shall be sent. Sollux made some last minute adjustments before hitting the send button to Karkat's email. It was disguised as a Trollian message from the servers. Oh well, he could still pester him later on the PDA he got a couple sweeps ago. After waiting a while to see any sign of whether Karkat's computer was hacked, his messenger client was flashing brightly indicating a message. Probably from him. Oh well, better check it and see.

-carcinoGeneticist [CG] started trolling twinArmageddons [TA]-

CG: WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING RIGHT NOW, YOU INCONSALABLE PIECE OF SHIT.

TA: kk that wa2 not a very niice way two greet your be2t friiend now ii am clearly talking two you riight now whiich ii2 what iiam doiing.

CG: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. I AM TALKING ABOUT THIS FUCKING VIRUS YOU CLEARLY SENT TO MY COMPUTER AS THERE'S NO OTHER PERSON THAT HAD THE BRAINS TO DO THIS SHIT. WHAT THE FUCK IS IT ANYWAY?

CG: IT'S LIKE SOME EMMASCULATING, 'SHIPPY' LIKE GAME THAT SHIPPER GIRL ALWAYS GOES ON ABOUT? THOSE FUCKING 'DATING SIMS' OR WHATEVER. I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. GOD, WHO EVEN MAKES THESE?

TA: you have no proof that ii even diid iit anyway2 be2iide2 even iif ii diid what would ii gain from iit but iif ii diid thank2

CG: MAKING A SHITTY MUESUEM LIKE EXAMPLE OF HOW MUCH OF A FUCKING LOSER I AM THAT'S FOR SURE. ANYWAY I DON'T TRUST GAMES AT ALL. THEY ARE CLEARLY DANGEROUS UNIVERSE CHANGING THINGS THAT'LL SUCK YOU INTO THE DEPTHS OF IT'S ABYSS OF A MOUTH FILLED WITH ROWS OF SHARP TEETH.

TA: kk are you 2ugge2tiing that this viiru2 game thiing will 2omehow change our very universe riight now and end it liike iin 2ome crazy futurii2tic alternate universe of ours controlled by a man with great power? that ii2 crazy talk riight there.

CG: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN YOU BIPOLAR, SOCIOPATHIC ASSHOLE.

TA: that hurt2 my feeliing2 riight there iiam not 2ociiopathiic by the way that ii2 vrii2ka our famou2 2piider biitch.

CG: ARE YOU GONNA FUCKING REMOVE THE DAMM VIRUS FROM MY COMPUTER THEN?

TA: lemme check my long lii2t of thiing2 ii need two do umm no not yet kk

CG: WELL WHY THE FUCK NOT THEN?

TA: iit ii2 becau2e…well the game 2eem2 very iintere2thiing but ii bet you cant even beat iit you noobiish grub.

CG: OH WOW IT IS ON. FOR YOUR INFORMATION I HAVE NO PROBLEM BEATING A GAME CLEARLY MEANT FOR GRUBS. IN FACT I WILL BEAT THIS GAME IN A 3 DAYS AND WHEN I DO YOU SHALL BOW DOWN TO MY AWESOME GAME SKILLS.

TA: ii 2hall mark the date on my 2hiiny new calendar.

TA: good luck on iit kk

CG: OH I HATE YOU SO MUCH NOW YOU SHADES-WEARING ASSHOLE.

TA: aww ii hate you two kk.

CG: YEAH WELL I HATE YOU MORE SO HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH TO YOU LIKE THE TROLL I AM.

TA: were all trolls dumba22.

CG: YOU KNOW WHAT I FUCKING MEAN.

CG: WE'RE STILL FRIENDS RIGHT?

TA: ye2 ye2 you alway2 a2k thii2 and ii alway2 2ay ye2 liike bff2 forever2 and all.

CG: YEAH YEAH I KNOW. WELL GONNA BEAT THIS FUCKING GAME NOW.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

**Be the angry troll boy now**

Karkat Vantas, the resident grumpy, assholish troll boy was now currently feeling..well a lot of things ranging from anger and confusion. Mostly confusion as..was this some kind of prank from your best friend? (Well, second best friend. Gamzee held first place as much of the annoying soper stoner he is). Did Sollux love to just put him through all the agony and pain? That sounded pretty sociopathic to him to you asked Karkat. Oh well..better figure out how to play these types of games. Ahhh this requires the ship queen's assistance; as much as he'd rather not get help, he had to in order to prove to Sollux that yes, he could beat a game without punching the monitor though. Not that he could now that his monitor was made indestructible due to him breaking it all the time. Better ask Nepeta about them now.

- carcinoGeneticist [CG] started trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]-

AC: :33 *ac saunters up to karkat wondering why out of all times he actually started to troll her. ac questions what he could n33d. ac asks "do you want to do another rom-com marathon sometime or was that not it?"

CG: OH MY GOD NEPETA KARKAT IS NOT GOING THROUGH THIS ROLEPLAYING BULLSHIT NOW. KARKAT WOULD LIKE TO AS MUCH AS HE'D RATHER NOT TO, ASK ON HELP TO PLAY A TYPE OF GAME. KARKAT WONDERS WHY THE FUCK I WOULD INDULGE YOU IN YOUR ROLEPLAYING FANTASIES AND WHY I'M TYPING IN THIRD PERSON. OH FUCK NO.

CG: ANOTHER ROM-COM MARATHON WOULD BE PERFECT BY THE WAY. WE NEED TO FINISH OUR LAST MOVIE. FUCK BOTH OF THEM ARE PRETTY DUMB WHEN IT COMES TO ROMANCE. JUST FUCKING TELL EACH OTHER LIKE THE SAPPY GRUBMAKERS THEY ARE. BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M ASKING HERE CATBALLS.

AC: :33 don't deny it karkat! roleplaying is purrfect. i get to pick the movies this time! wait…what does dear karkitty want? :3

CG: DON'T CALL ME BY THAT SHAMELESS MOCKERY OF A NICKNAME. WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET "KARKITTY" OUT OF MY NAME. I AM NOT YOUR CAT. ANYWAY, I FUCKING DIGRESS.

CG: SO..WHAT THE FUCK ARE DATING SIMS?

AC: :33 well im the purrfect girl to ask then! :3. You s33 dating sims or rather their longer title of i'd rather not say it as it's way too long. they're basically really fun games where you play as a person and its soo romantic. you m33t cute trolls depending on who you want choose the right choices and get an ending with them. the best one is where they confess their undying love to you. *ac swoons* equius doesn't let me play them a lot. he says that theyre too inappropriate.

CG: SO THEY'RE BASICALLY IDEALIZED VERSIONS OF QUADRANT COURTING EVEN IF THEY'RE IN NO WAY FUCKING REALISTIC AS YOU CAN'T 'PICK AND CHOOSE A CHOICE'. IT'S A GO WITH THE FLOW THING. BUT WHATEVER, THEY'RE OBVIOUSLY FICTIONAL SO, THANKS NEPETA FOR YOUR VERY INOFORMATIVE PARAGRAPH INTO MORE OF THE CRAZY SHIPPER THING.

AC: :33 no problem karkat! ooooohh who could've pawssibly sent you it though?

CG: UGHH FUCKING SOLLUX. HE MOST LIKELY SENT IT AS A PRANK TO MOCK ON HOW PATHETIC MY FLUSHED LIFE IS. UGHHHH.

AC: :33 *ac pawders on this explanation, she has decided one simple conclusion. ac states* wow he must really like you to go do all that. purrhaps he really has flushed feelings for you :3.

CG: THAT IS AN UTTERLY RIDICLOUS NOTION YOU OF ALL PEOPLE CAME UP WITH. THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY THAT SOLLUX, THAT BIPOLAR ASSHOLE EVEN HAS A SLIGHT NOTION OF FLUSHED FEELINGS FOR ME.

CG: IT'S UTTERLY RIDICULOUS. HE DESERVES A WAY BETTER PERSON THAN ME TO BE HIS SUPPOSED FLUSH CRUSH. HE'S JUST PROBABLY PRANKING ME..LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES.

AC: :33 *ac pawses for a moment to try to think of something to say. It is baffling to her* i am pawsitvely sure that sollux does like you but that's only my judgement :D. it's your call karkat! I hope the game will be fun!

AC: :33 ahh I better go, I must pounce for the chance for hunting but good luck karkitty!

CG: FOR THE SAKE OF HIGHBLOODS EVERYWHERE DON'T CALL ME THAT

CG: ANYWAY THANKS NEPETA AND..SEE YOU LATER I GUESS. HAVE A FUN TIME KILLING ANIMALS LIKE THE HUNTRESS YOU ARE.

-carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]-

Well, with that out of the way..time to start the fucking game. After acquainting himself with the wonderful tutorial Sollux provided ingame, he began to play. Well first of all: dating sims were weird as fuck and why was he playing a girl? Like what the fuck man; Sollux was obviously mocking his perceived femininity with his love of romantic comedies which were clearly *awesome*. Whatever, he just had to play the stupid thing. He started and for a couple of hours…he continued to play.

Shit, this game was actually really good. Sollux could make a fortune off of video game programming. It's too bad that the rest of his computer was locked cause he was stuck again. Shit. Nope never mind, he just chose the wrong dialogue choice. God this was humiliating about how fun this actually was. Not that it could actually prepare you for real life romance or what not but it was good at reading types of cues, Karkat noted. His eyes started to hurt but…okay just answer this reply and then you can go get a drink, Karkat told himself. After that, he went down to the fridge, fought off crabdad again as he was blocking the fridge, hurt his hand in the process and sat back down, a faygo in hand (it was the only fucking drink left in the hive, he didn't even like it that much,; Gamzee was the one who did). Karkat, though actually enjoying the dam game, wondered why Sollux would go through the trouble of making it and sending it to him as a virus.

_It's not like he likes me or whatever. You'd have to be a fucking moron to believe that. He's just doing it as a prank that's all. Aradia's more suited to be with him after all. I'm sure they're morails or whatever, but she's perfect for him either in a pale or flushed quadrant. She's able to handle his moods and calm him down. Well, dumbass that's what moirails do: calm the other down but….I'm not suited to be in a relationship with anyone now. As much as I'd like to; no one's signing up in line to be with the next angry douchebag…like me. Oh stop pitying yourself Karkat and get back to the computer. Not that you could really do anything but get the game done. Man I still don't trust games…_

He walked back up the stairs, thoughts running wild in his thick troll skull. What was the hacker boy's motive in doing this? Was Nepeta right? Did Sollux actually maybe, sort-of, kinda, like him in a more than friends' way? Was he just overanalyzing a probable well done prank of some sort? Whatever. He sat back down near his computer and started another long session of playing it.

An hour later: still playing through. Almost got to the date scene. Shit have to analyze each and every response to pick the correct one. Karkat may not be the best at games (he broke a console once out of rage-quitting), but he was really determined to finish the game. Mostly because after that, his computer will finally be unlocked but it was mostly out of a burning curiosity to see how it'll end. Earlier, he demanded that Sollux tell him the whole fucking purpose of it all. He only told him "just wait and 2ee at the end kk". Fuck him and fuck his ambiguity ughhhh.

An hour and a half later: Okay got to the ending parts. Now the main male character's now confessing his undying feelings for the player character. Now wait just a second: now that he thinks of it, the love interest did resemble Sollux a bit; maybe it's the hair, or the douche smirk or the obsession with computers. Why didn't he notice it before? Oh right; too busy being annoyed and concentrating on beating it to focus on any finer details. Ohh now that he also thought about it, it contained a lot of his favorite movie references too. 50 first dates: had a substantial amount of date content; one even being set at an aquarium and so on..There was a lot he didn't notice.

Ending: Wait just a second here; the ending was kinda lackluster but oh my god, there was a digital note to read:

"iiam 2o tiired of codiing and programmiing thii2 piiece of 2hiit 2o 2orry for the 2hiity ending. fuck how do you even do fuckiing game endings. 2hiit how do ii 2ay thii2, the entiire rea2on that ii hacked your computer wiith thii2 wa2…yeah ii know one of my wor2t iidea2 ever. why diid ii let nepeta of all people giive me the iidea. Anyway you 2ee:

Kk, youre the mo2t iin2uffereable iiriitatiing be2t friiend ever but you know what?

ii love you. ii been flu2hed for you for a long time. no u2e trying two hiide iit now wiith thii2 gay a22 confe22iion of mine. ii have no iidea why but iit2 no u2e tryiing two hiide iit anymore. iill be here waiitiing iif you dont hate me after thii2."

Blinking in surprise, staring at the bright computer screen; he had to get to Sollux's hive now. That idiot….

**You are now the currently panicking bee boy.**

Oh my gog, oh my gog. This was the stupidest idea Sollux ever had in seven sweeps of his existence. Karkat was gonna hate him so much after this. _Well he's already annoyed at you so why not take it up a notch by having him utterly despise your troll guts after this. This was fucking stupid. It's been 3 days since you've seen him; should I message him now?Well..he might be able to talk to you now. Think! Think!_

Before Sollux could open up pesterchum to hassle him on it, Karkat came barging in your hive seething in red-hot anger.

"Hey, knock why don't yo-"Before Sollux could say anymore, Karkat walked over and surprised him with a kiss.

Oh what the fuck? His flush crush suddenly kissed him ahhhh. Well don't stand just stand there kiss him back. He leaned in, making the kiss deeper. Karkat blushed a lot but he tried to hide it though Sollux could still feel the heat as they continued kissing. Moving his lips in time with his best friends, he sighed a bit into it, moving closer to Karkat. Blissful, he felt Karkat wrap his arms around his neck, tiptoeing to reach Sollux's height. He took advantage of this and picked him up and put him on the table, lips still connected. Now, wrapping his legs around Sollux's waist, Karkat's tongue brushed lightly along the entrance of Sollux's lips. He granted permission and began to suck on it, making him moan in response. Continuing to wrestle tongues with Solllux winning but Karkat still trying to win, they had to break it off in a need for air. Panting, he looked into Karkat's eyes; still grey from not being fully matured yet but having that stormy touch to them that defined that Vantas boy.

"Idiot, you could've been more fucking forward with your feelings you know. I wasn't going to sit there and wait forever for you to make a fucking move. It's not a shitty romantic comedy." He grumbled while still blushing. He hid his head under that thick sweater he wore; too embarrassed to face Sollux.

"This was way funnier; messing you like this. Besides, you kissed me rightt~"

"Shut up! I don't have a clue what got into me…you needed a push so I pushed you off your apartment of cluelessness and fucking smooched you okay."

"Hehe whatever. I take it you enjoyed the game?"

"No I didn't. It was a waste of my time and a waste of your programming skills. Did you even do enough research for this?"

"I watched all your shitty romance movies. That count?"

"I appreciate the sentiment in it but, would it hurt your non-existent bulge to not put a ton of clichés in there? Ohh you were fucking sneaky making the guy look like you ehh?"

"Pftt it got the point across"

"Oh yeah, why'd you go through all the trouble of hacking my computer with a virus that turned out to be a fucking dating sim. Man is this some kind of thing in Nepeta's animes?"

"You're worth the trouble annoying as you might be"

"I thought you said you liked me. Dammit and you say things like that…"

"I doo and from that amazing kiss, you like me too?"

"Yeah, yeah, you're an idiot but you're my idiot to deal with now ughhh."

Sollux gave him a quick kiss, feeling him relax under the kiss. "Yeah, yeah love you too"

"Oh shut it. You're coming over to unlock my computer. And to put in anti-virus software. I'm not dealing with that shit again"

"I might have more things to do to your computer…"

"Oh my fuck no"

"Just kidding, can't you take a joke kk?"

"Hurry up but first:" Karkat leaned over real close to Sollux's mouth, breath on his face. "You owe me for this."

"What's you have in mind, dear kk?"

"Ehhh lemme think about it while you're fixing my PC" They both walked over back to Karkat's hive, now being the handyman to Karkat's computer. The plan was a success. Brag worthy even.


End file.
